Show me the money!

Ok, Dubai is out of control. You got a crazy idea? It can be your crazy reality. You want to build the most luxurious hotel. The tallest tower. The aquarium with the biggest single bit of glass. You want to serve the most expensive cocktail in the world. You want to create an island shaped like a tree. Heck, here in Dubai there is even talk of cooling the sand on the beach to prevent foot burn. Here in Dubai, you got the money, you got the big dream, you just go for it! I mean I've only been here 48 hours, hardly a pro on all things Emirati, but from what I've seen (the luxury 4WDs and sportscars occupying every residential garage is only the beginning) people have some serious money, and have nothing serious to spend it on.

I'm hanging out with Ash and Kent who are about 4 months localised. From their apartment I got the first glimpse of the most ridiculously jam packed skyline I've ever seen. (Admittedly from A and K's place you can't tell that the majority of the skyline is made up of cranes and the skeletons of yet to be completed big ideas - but still! WOW!) My first impression of Dubai in the daylight probably wasn't true to the Emirate. I mean I caught a fabulous glimpse of nothing but desert as we flew over and into the sandpit but then Ash and Kent quickly taxied me off to a fenced in stepford wives city of neatness. When my hosts popped off to work the next day I explored this city of perfection. Manicured gardens on the sidewalks. Manicured nails on the residents. I cycled Ash's bike taking in each and every one of the luxury vehicles that layed dormant in the sheds. The unused swimming pools. Basketball courts. Tennis courts. This place was a playground for the wealthy - but the folks were clearly wealthy enough that they paid other people to do the playing. I would've got used it...

In the evening we mingled with the locals - briefly. Ash introduced me to her shwarma man. I'll take one of each. Later, I will impress someone with my knowledge of this little street side stall (I will let you know how that goes in due time). Braving the cold (yes, it's cold. Fkn freezing actually) we headed into town. (Jenna - not the cat, the person - was also with us. I hadn't seen Jenna in at least 3 years, possibly 4? It was great to see her and to see that she hadn't changed! Laughter just seems to follow that girl!) So, we are en route to the Burj that is shaped like a sail. The 7 star hotel. The picture of ridiculousness in Dubai. Of course we weren't going into the Burj, but we were in the vicinity. The 360 Bar. The coldest place on the planet. With the fancy wine list. And kick ass price tags. Red wine kinda warmed us up. Kent was on the money with the whiskey straight up. Jenna slightly dissapointed with her 7 potato wedges - what did she expect? Get on the golf buggy, take the man made island compacted sand road back to the mainland. An awesome view of everything. But this little Bangkokian was just freezing her non existent tits off!

With a jacket in hand I might go back there with a bird very soon.

Bizarre border rituals, radical rock gardens and the Dali Lama's Dharamsala

I'm cruising back through my facebook photos to job my memory about what I did next... I've been prompted by Ash to get my ass into gear and update my blog - mostly because she asked me for travel advice about a town I visited about 2 months ago and I can't recall a bloody thing about it.... but I do remember when Ash and Wendy left me to tackle the rest of India solo... well, as solo as one can get in a country of nearly one billion...

Chandigargh... a place on the map that gets me outta Delhi... and only 4hrs by train... I'm on it. Nothing to do in Chandigargh but blow your budget on accomodation, unless of course your fav Indian student hails from the area. Then you get a local shouting you samosa and tea - lovely Kanu, thank you very much :-)
Oh and there was that super bloody weird rock garden - what a kooky place to kill some time! And go on romantic outings with your partners I soon learnt. Every nook and cranny that I came across was already occupied by canoodling 20 somethings.... get a room? Or something?

Open the Lonely Planet and see what comes next... this is hard to do this retrospectively.

I can't remember if I had a plan at this point or not? All I knew was that it was hot, hot hot... and the rumour on the street was that the north was not. Not. Not. Amritsar, your border ceremony awaits me.

I'm bored at the moment... need to do this when I am drunk....

Back dating keeps me looking organised

Ever since I learnt that you can back date your posts with blogger I have become super lazy at posting things as they happen (anyone who ever checks here regularly will know that that is complete bullshit, I've always been lazy with my posts). But, hey, at least I am making an effort to log in and reflect on past experiences? Right? So... I need to go way back to the time when Wendy and Ashley took me to that place with no beer... oh happy days... well actually the happy days begun with the train trip outta there! Ok, drama overload.. .it wasn't that bad... hippy's, yoga enthusiasts, vegetarian food... certainly not limited to only Rishikesh!

Train trip back to Dehli was bearable... although the staring was at an all time high... Ashley on her last stint of patience with the head wobbles, the staring and the moustaches... it was always highly entertaining for me, but I will admit that in the company of the dark haired yet fair eyed Ashley I didn't really receive that much attention... but it left me with more time to work on my Bruce Sprinstein remake of Dancing in the Dark. Which I sang to rapturous applause from the Indian men for which the song was about....

The train trip however was the end of the bearability of all things related to Delhi... our attempts to stay in a cheap guesthouse away from the hoards of tourists failed... dodgy back street after dodgy back street littered with dirty guesthouses ran by scary men had us going back on our goals and following the hoards - back to Parhaganj and the relative safety of the tourist strip....

Sweat, dust and cow shit... Dehli in a nutshell.... add to that some politcal unrest and the closing of all markets that might have been of interest left us with little to do but walk around temples and forts and fend off silk sellers - for three days... I did fall in love with lassis and ate ten too many samosas and photographed one too many unnatractive eunuchs... but that was about it... three days in Delhi... 2.5 days too many....

It's town number two without booze n meat....

Long before the birds woke up and began their daily chores, Wendy, Ashley and I crawled out of our big bed gathered our worldly possessions and went in search of the 4am bus outta here! Imagine the oldest bus in the world, no older than that, and then imagine us riding it for the better part of the next 10 hours.... is the rest of my India adventure going to be littered with such long and painful bus journeys? (For a heads up, yes it will be...)

Rishikesh... hatha yoga centre of the world. Was I bouncing with excitement about the thought of heading to a town without beer. Without meat. And with oodles and oodles of yoga? Well, no, I wasn't... but Ashley is a yoga bunny and I had no other ideas about where I wanted to go!

Ashley tried to convince me to join her in some yoga action, I must apologise for being so stubborn. But it just didn't appeal. Bending. Stretching. Turning yourself into a huge knot of skin. I need the gym. And hotties to check out. And loud music. And stuff. (Sorry ash....)

I think we chilled in little Rishikesh for 3 days or so. Despite me not participating in the mandatory yoga sessions, or silencing my trap for 10 days in a wild Vipassana retreats, I managed to enjoy the peace and quiet and the coffee and the bakeries... and I finished my book....

Vegetarian and booze free?

So the big move after Agra and the Taj was a long and sweaty journey to the mountain town of Nainital (there was a bus trip, a train journey - which involved Indian men and hand holding - and then a private jeep trip to the top... it became clear that we weren't the only folks making the journey, a huge percentage of India's middle class holiday makers were also en route... result? Disaster. No Vacancy. Not Possible. We have nothing. You could sleep in the barn but it will cost you your left leg. Permanent tents are only $40 madaam. What the ?!?!?

Our saviours in Nainital after 5hrs of walking up and down the the lakeside? A handsome group of Sikh men who saw the desperation in our eyes and sorted us out with a sweet room by the lake. It would mean a couple of nights of stationary sleeping as any movement resulted in someone (me) being forced onto the floor - we were three in the bed - but the shower was heavenly and the price was ok and by this stage we really didn't care!

So why did we come to Nainital again? Oh yeah, the walk up the hill (mountain) and the view of the Himalayas...

Early start... up we go... I'm feeling ok, I am pretending to like trekking when really I prefer beer drinking (or even tea drinking)... we take it easy, a leisurely stroll some might say... signs to the viewpoint... I imagine snow capped peaks... keep climbing... mind the monkeys... I see nothing... ok I see clouds... essentially though... I see nothing... ideas? Let's keep climbing up... of course, why didn't I suggest that?

China Peak is the new destination.. only about 9000 ft up... (admittedly at the time I was impressed by that.. then I went to Leh, but I'm getting ahead of myself there....)
You'll never believe what we saw from the viewpoint of China Peak... or will you? Standing by the flag that proudly relays the message "we made it" we look out into the distance and see white... as far as the eye can see... we see white... well it was a nice walk and a nice cup of chai.... let's go down now...

From romance to madness...

The Taj Mahal, nothing short of majestic really. It lives up to all expectations. It's true that at the end of the day it is just a big thing made of marble but the romance, the elegance, the meaning, it's majestic.... but I don't think I need to go about it. I mean we've all heard about it or seen it on the telly or sifted through some old friends boring pics of the architectural monster so I wont say anything more about it. So the girls (Ash and Wendy) had shot off for the day to Fatephur thing-a-ma-jig and I followed the instructions to visit the Agra fort (did I write about this already?)... the fort was gigantuan... and I loved it.. yep, I wrote about this already, I remember now imagining being somebodies concubine....

So speeding up to the next morning when I wake with the birds (the vultures to be more specific) and head to the Taj for opening time... I was surprised to be only one of a few tourists up at this hour to enjoy the peace and quiet at the Taj, pleasently surprised of course. But I was in a slight pickle, cos everyone wants a pic with themselves and the Taj, but I was without friends and without a host of tourists to annoy and ask for help... along comes the moustached saviour for today.. Like a seasoned professional he took full control of my camera and threw countless instructions at me; "sit down", "stand up", "feet up", "smile more", "stop laughing", "move there", "smile more hard" etc etc... The result was a dozen pics of me and the Taj, each one slightly off centre and rotated to the right, but each one screaming with the tears and laughter that the little moustache man had caused for me at 6am on that already stinking hot day in Agra.

Meeting the girls in Agra was a super fun relief. I mean I had only been travelling solo for a little more than 24 hours, and I am generally quite tough, but nobody wants to drink beer alone.. do they? So not only did I move up to the travelling social ladder to "travelling with friends" but I was now able to rest assured that I had a folks to share a beer with... well, so I thought.... Speed up to the evening, with the Taj out in the distance and the sun setting on a blistering hot and stinky day, Ange needs a beer. Ange then needs to twist some arms in order to convince the likes of the Dutch and the Canadian to join her... their homelands would be ashamed... but they gave in and agreed to a couple of bottles... and then they let me drink them... is this how it is going to be? Well you just wait and see what they had in mind for the next couple of destinations.... I've no doubt you will be feeling my pain....

The days start with a cup of hot chai....

Sitting on a hot and smelly train bound for Agra, the home of the world famous Taj Mahal. The tight, sweaty and uncomfortable section of our carriage included a family of six. A travelling group of four men and one (younger) woman. And an elderly chap - pushing 80 by appearance but maybe only 50 - and me. I'd been in India less than 24 hrs. Everything was new. A little scary. Often humorous. Almost always jaw dropping.

Who needs nappies for their young? Pop him on the boob. Feed him up. Burp him. Just like we'd do it at home. Until it's time for motions. Do it on newspaper. Then chuck it out the window. Each time this happened I washed my own face and hands with my little travel pack of baby wipes, gesturing to the sari clad mum that she was more than welcome to have some wipes to clean up her son, or her own hands, but each time my offers were politely turned down. Oh well.. I tried...

The head wobble. What the hell does it mean? Anyone who has been to India will understand the confusion of the head wobble. It's still my day one. Simple questions. Do you mind if I sit here? Is this the station for ? Can I take a photo of you? Would you like some chips? Do I get off here? All are answered with a quick little sideways head wobble. Not quite a yes. Not quite a no. Confusing as hell. But super funny. I found myself just making up questions that I knew the answers to in order to test my head wobble theories. After 4 hours on the train. I still hadn't worked it out. But at least I'd had a good laugh!

Agra. Finally. Time to find Wendy and Ashley. I followed their email directions to their hostel and I found it at the end of a smelly little alleyway lined with open sewers. Nice. Why the hell would they stay here I remember thinking. But I quickly learned that all alleyways in Agra seemed to be lined with open sewers. One of the most magestic buildings in all of the world in the background... open sewers in the foreground... watch your step folks!

I killed some time that afternoon visiting the monstrous Agra Fort. I wandered about imagining life a few hundred years ago as a prisoner or a guard or a concubine! Overlooking the Taj Mahal the fort itself took my breathe away. I am in India. 2km from the Taj Mahal. And 6 weeks away from school and work and responsibility. Time to take a deep breath Ange. And soak it all up.....

As instructed, I returned to the hostel in the early evening to wait for the girls. What a refreshing feeling to see familiar faces and have familiar conversations! And almost as quickly as we'd said hello I pleaded with them to join me for a beer... their first in a week of travel?! Whoops - their healthy, walking, trekking, muesli eating habits might cop a hiding now that I'd joined the troupe! Despite being full of numerous amounts of dangerous chemicals I drank that beer like it was the first I'd had in years... drinking it on the rooftop, with a wonderful view of the Taj... some kind of wonderful.