Who let the Dog's out?

It's been a long, hard battle for the Mad Dogs. We started out as a bunch of women who collectively had about 4 years of netball experience between them. We enjoyed being absolutely trounced each and every week by ladies who could stride the entire length of the court in only three paces. We laughed at our inability to catch, or remain upright or not step. It was amusing that we were so bad. But oh, how things have changed! While it is true only a couple of original Mad Dogs remain we have built on a culture of hard work and determination. We made some good trades and picked up some classy ladies and finally, finally, we've come through with the goods. That's right people, the Mad Dogs took out the league (well Div 2 anyway, but come on, cheers please!) What else is there to say except, well done ladies you deserved it! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Facebook is stifling my creativity....

I once was addicted to my blog. I was addicted to my friend's blogs too. I would check them daily, sometimes twice daily. I formed friendships with people I didn't know but who wrote interesting tales about their interesting lives. I was moved by the birth of a child to a mother I didn't know, just read about. I was intrigued by the insight of a expat who moved to Phuket to further his writing. I was humoured by the stories of a family in Chiang Mai who'd always be getting up to something interesting. I loved to check in on my friends blogs, read about my mate's latest housing project or work of art. Laugh at the crazy situations my netball buddy was getting herself into here in Bangkok. And then, “You've been sent an invitation to Facebook”. Oh boy, how my life has changed, oh boy how pathetic is that?

So, it's December now, a good couple of months since anything exciting has happened and I am making a pact with myself. Cut down on the Facebook hours and write something interesting again. Stop throwing sheep at people and buying pictures of gifts. Stop poking long lost school friends and accepting friend requests of people you may have had a three and half minute conversation with in high school. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not going cold turkey. I just think it's time to balance the scales, give my old blog the time and effort she deserves. Try to get some readers back... will you come back?

I've got loads to get you up to date with... I moved house, went to China, won our Netball League, got silly on far too many occasions to mention here.... so, it's time (again) to get back to the blogging and move slowly away from the time consuming and socially boring life of a facebook addict.... (did I mention that I created a profile for my cat!? Shit, I didn't even mention that I have a cat... so much to write...) x

Goodness Gracious Great Wall of China

I dream about visiting those massively famous places. The big name tourist destinations. I cringe at the thought of sharing them with one million and one people, but there are some cities in which there are must do trips, and in Beijing there is no other must do trip quite like the Great Wall of China. We did fall into the trap of a somewhat organised tour but it worked to our advantage in the end. Being dumped 10 km away from our destination on a section of the wall that had had very little restoration work done on it was nothing short of magnificent. Breathe taking stuff, seriously, my breath, gone (may have had something to do with the 10 km hike, but mostly to do with sheer amazement).... Wendy, Ben and I set out on a beautifully sunny morning walk, I was prepared for the chill out on the wall but soon found myself shedding layers of clothes faster than a twelve year old playing chocolate manners (ha ha, do you know that game? You have to throw on loads of clothes and then cut the block of chocolate with a knife and fork? Aaaah, it takes me back, but probably confuses the pants off you...) Anyway... the sun was brilliant. The wall was everything I imagined it to be. The breathlessness of the whole experience is hard to describe.
There was a constant sense of “HOLY CRAP I AM ON THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA!” and I found myself needing to shout “GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT WALL OF CHINA” at every moment. It's true i may have somewhat destroyed the serenity for other wall walkers but I just couldn't help it! The Mongolian farmers that have left their flocks and who now trail the wall trying to sell their goods were slightly time consuming but full credit to the 72 year old chap who was doing laps around me. There were some crazy steep sections to climb and that Mongolian chappy was most certainly half mountain goat in his ability to scamper up and down that wall... still feel bad that he followed us for about 30 minutes and I didn't buy any water from him. I did tell him that I had some already. Listening skills not unlike my students it appeared!

After the walk (which I think took us about 3 hours?) we cruised down to the waiting bus on a flying fox. Nothing quite like being strapped into a harness, a few hundred metres above the river, by an under qualified 70 year old Chinese lady who said nothing other than “hold on”! It all worked out in the end but we couldn't help but notice the lack of safety standards adhered to! But we lived to tell the tale so I should stop going on about it!

Anyway, the rest of my Beijing adventure was equally brilliant. I mean it's a rather polluted and somewhat dirty city (although by all accounts they have cleaned up their act). It was hard to find good coffee but not at all hard to get cheap beer. The food was good, but I am spoiled in Thailand and find it difficult to be wowed by anything else (it's not that I am not open minded, I am just spoiled here!) We rode around the city umpteen times and enjoyed visiting even more of the overcrowded tourist sites, attempting, if only for a little while, to immerse ourselves in some of what Beijing had to offer. Obviously, Hooters isn't exactly the peak of Chinese or Beijing culture, but you have to go, right? I mean, it's Hooters?! The end of the week had Wendy and I at a work conference. This should mean hours of stimulating and inspiring teaching habits, but what it actually meant was excessive wine and beer drinking and embarrassing situations.... will I ever learn? x

At first I was afraid I was petrified....

At the first the girls really had no idea what they were getting themselves into... but it took them only seconds to realise what they needed to do... take it away girls!

How much longer can I put this off?

wow, it's just been months and months since I've been here. It kinda got to a point where there was just too much to write about that I didn't know where to start and I didn't know what to include and what to leave out. We are at week 9 at school, week freaking 9!!! And I still feel like I am running about like a headless chicken, making up lessons (albeit fantastic ones) as I go along. My work load seems heavier this year, I need to up my tempo, but it's just not happening for me. Don't get me wrong, I am loving it - L-O-V-I-N-G it - this year with the older kids and the algebra and the proofs and the logic... but it's more work, it's not an easy task making geometric proofs mindblowingly fascinating for 15 year olds!!!

I should bring you up to speed on some things......

summer break was indescribably brilliant. My younger sister is just beyond words. What an absolute champion, how lucky am I that my younger sis is one of my best mates? One of those people that just brings out the best in you without even trying... total trooper.... we cruised around Vietnam and Cambodia, catching up on years and years of not really knowing all there is to know about your sister... no fighting, just fun and games!!! Thanks pal, it was awesome!

a week of relaxing in Krabi before school hit back was super fun. A new clique of mates, an awesome holiday house, lots of mojitos, an Aussie version of trivial pursuit (was there a sports question that i didn't know?), some late night swimming, rock climbing, beach sitting, harry potter reading, beach shopping, seafood eating.... aaahhh.... what a way to spend the week before you hit the grind again!

school started way back in August.... the first week is always great (even though I regret starting the year hungover - no, wait, I'd say I was drunk....), teachers are enthusiastic and you don't admit it but you are excited to see the kids again. Your lessons are energetic and interactive, the canteen food is not as bad as you remember, there are new staff members that need tours and appropriate evenings on the juice as warm welcomings to Bangkok... this carries on for a few weeks... then the marking starts to pileup... meetings are called... kids don't do their work and you need to deal with that...kids can't remember what a factor or a prime number is and you cry a little inside.... I get questions from 13 year olds like "Miss Ange, if I have already done Ex 4.1 should I do it again?" to which I reply (sarcastically) "yes of course you should"... and they do... over the summer it seems that I forgot my kids aren't too clued up on sarcasm...

the teacher talentless show was just that - talentless! but the kids loved it (and just quietly, dressing up as a teenage mutant ninja turtle - I loved it too!!! Half term break is just around the corner (lots of marking and parent consultations to endure beforehand though)... I'm heading up to China for a week which should be great... bring on THE WALL!!!!

My social life is continuing to keep me smiling... dancing to cheesy soft rock seems to be my current fancy and places like Adamakers and Yes Indeed are becoming increasingly regular... I'm not sure if I should be impressed or worried that bar staff know my name and my order??

I've got good internet access at home now so there's no excuse for being so slack! Hopefully I will find the flow again and will resume posting and reading my mates blogs that used to entertain me daily.... Ange in Bangkok is back online...

Way too long between drinks!

It's been a flat out 5 weeks for me, my poor little blog is feeling rather unloved and I am still not giving her the time she needs! After Hanoi, HCMC, Phenom Phen and Siem Riep I hit the beach for some R & R (which ended up being far too many beers and far too many jovial arguments over Trivial Pursuit) and now I am still finding myself on the road, out and about, being a tourist. A couple of college mates are in town and we've come up to Kanchanaburi for the day. I'm just checking in, but still not really in the mood for a post... maybe next week, when work starts, I will be more than happy to ignore lesson plans and devote some much needed attention to my blogging!

I can post but I can't read...

I'm having a few difficulties checking my blog and those that I read regularly. I'm not sure if there is something weird going on here in Vietnam, but there seems to be some sort of internet block out there to get me. I guess it shouldn't matter, I don't really need to check my own blog! But I've no idea what's going on in the world of BangkokAli (who is actually no longer in Bangkok - sniff sniff), Lillian, Christina G, Lost Boy... I am out of touch for the moment!
I don't know why I can get to my dashboard - but not mine (or any other blogger pagers)
Strange....

Everything you can do, I can do better

"I went to this remote village on the back of a camel, we had to scale walls and then hoist ourselves up over a series of small children and dogs and then we were at the most amazing beach you have ever seen. I was definately the only western person who had EVER been there. It was amazing!" IF I HEAR ONE MORE DICKHEAD BACKPACKER MAKE A CLAIM LIKE THIS I THINK I WILL SCREAM!!!!!

Seriously. Why is it that just doing what is in the Lonely Planet, or Rough Guide or advertised on the walls of the hostel is never enough for some people that they have to make up bullshit stories about being the only westerner that has ever been seen at a particular beach, mountain, restaurant, noodle shop etc. BUDDY, IF YOU MADE IT THERE, SOMEONE ELSE WOULD HAVE BEFORE YOU!! GET OVER YOURSELF!

I love to hear stories from other backpackers, they are your best resource when you are on the road - but please spare me the crap. (Yes I want to know that a hard bed sleeper isn't that bad and it will save you a few dollars, but I don't believe you when you tell me that you were in fact the first white person that the 5 other locals in your room had EVER seen!) I cringe at that loud mouthed tourist (very often a fellow Aussie - double cringe) who always has to out do everyone elses travel stories. "oh you only trekked to the first village? That's cool, but I went to the second village, I met an awesome and interesting tribe of people who actually believe that eating the eyeballs of chickens brings health and fertility. I sat there and ate with them - I am sure that I was the ONLY WHITE PERSON THEY HAD EVER SEEN!"

BULLSHIT!!!

Little ol Mum proving she's just not very sharp..

Well I've been out of touch for a while, due mainly to end of year celebrations (i.e far too much drinking and eating) and that I've taken a little trip out west and am now in Hanoi with Mum and my younger sis. It is just awesome over here. But there is more to tell about that later! Now, I would like to share the interesting stories about my Mum and the fits of hysteria that she has us (Cint and I) in! The poor pumpkin showed her lack of IT skills early on by attempting use her new digital camera for the first time. Unable to locate the viewfinder (there isn't one) and unsure of which way to point "the bleedin" thing, Mum near on blinded herself by pointing the camera the wrong way and taking a full flash photo of herself. Of course Cint and I offered little assistance, instead we simply enjoyed the spectacle! She's almost got the hang of it now, although Cint and I still tend to prefer self taken shots than the ones she takes - they are rarely in focus and barely show us at all! Bless her cotton socks, I shall post some of her classics at some point in time.... Last night, Mum once again had me in stitches, close to wetting myself in fact I was laughing so much. We got onto the discussion of digital music, well actually for mum is was all about the new Pod things... you see, poor ol mum just couldn't remember what the hell they are called. Cint and I thought it would be fun for her to guess, so she tried, starting with 'A'. "Is it an apod? bpod? cpod? etc..." As I write this I realise that you really need to (1) Know my mum and (2) Have been there to witness it, but I just wanted to write it all down so that I would always remember the night that my mum swore black and blue that the digital media sensation currently taking over the world is called an O-Pod....

School's out for summer!!!!

My classroom is bare and looking rather dull. The only thing left are the student profile words which are hanging up too high for me to take them down. I look at those words and wonder if I will stick to them over the course of my summer.

• I will be an Inquirer "How much is your beer?".
• I will be a Thinker, "I wonder if it will be cheaper for me to buy a bottle or a jug?"
• I will be a Risk taker, "I wonder if I can make it across the 8 lanes of traffic in Hanoi after consuming beer"
• I will be Principled, "No, a happy ending is not neccessary but I will still give you a tip"
• I will be Caring, "Cint, it's ok, just let it all out, I'll get you some water and hold back your hair"
• I will be Open Minded, "I understand that your way of life depends on giving happy endings"
• I will be a Communicator, "I promise that we can go home just after I sing one more round of Land Down Under on this Karaoke machine!"
• I will be Reflective, "Maybe, that last beer was one too many"

The principles that my students live and learn by each day will not be forgotten by me on my summer holidays! BRING IT ON!!!!

Tagged again .... all about me

Lillian got me again with this tag - it's going to take thinking on my behalf, but I'll see what I can come up with...

Rules: Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people; then visits those people’s sites and comments, letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do.

1 - I was born on the 29th of February. Born mid afternoon (or so I am told) so no chance to be held on to or squeezed out any earlier. I celebrate my bday 3 years out of 4 on both the 28th and the 1st... I milk it for all I can!

2 - One year for Christmas I got rollerblades and a matching set of grey t-shirt and bike shorts with the Beverly Hills 90210 logo on it... cool

3 - I nearly wet my pants in Kindergarten because Mum put me in a school dress that zipped at the back. It didn't occur to me to just lift it up to pee.

4 - I am still convinced that the day I came home from a friend's 21st when I was only 17 and had drunk a two litre bottle of coke mixed with a hip flask of Jim Beam that Dad couldn't tell

5 - I have successfully completed The Centurion 4 times... on one occasion I also had an extra can at 50 just for kicks... (The Centurion is the challenge to drink 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes)

6 - I don't remember the 80th to the 99th shot of beer on any occasion that I have successfully completed The Centurion

7 - I worked a ski season in the US in the year 2000, was riding my board like a true snow queen and then crashed and tumbled into a screaming heap. I smashed my elbow into a zillion pieces, comparable to a car accident I've been told, and I now have plates and screws in there and have lost about 30 degrees of movement.... I tell this story to everyone I meet.

8 - I once pretended I was a leprechaun

Ok, I am not sure if I know 8 people to tag since Lillian already tagged The Lost Boy and BangkokAli, and ChristinaG has done this already... ok, it's time to spread my wings here a little and mention some other blogs that I am reading...Damn it - Greenhaddock and Beaman have done this as well.... I'm out there looking for folks who haven't been hit yet... struggling

I tag Ange (no, it's not me!), Sloth, LaNina, Lynn,

My sister arrives bearing gifts...

My little sister rolled into Bangkok last night from Melbourne, mate it was so great to see her! She had me worried for a short while at the airport; she didn’t come out with the masses of obviously Australian tourists disembarking from the same budget airline. I had images of her watching the friendly Thai customs officers searching through her bags, pockets and whatever other orifices they could get their hands on! Luckily it was just that Cint had already been swept up in the lackadaisical manner that we love and hate about Thailand and she was just taking her sweet ass time about things.
My little sister is kinda my hero. I have never in my life met anyone who laughs quite as much as she does, and it’s an infectious laugh that just lifts the mood of everyone around her. We have a weird relationship really; we’ve never actually spent a whole lot of time together as adults. She went away for uni so we missed out on spending much time together during those drunken uni days. Almost as soon as I put my pen down on my last exam I had my bags packed and ready to go so we once again missed out on seeing a whole lot of each other. Of course there were family get togethers, lunches here and there with our other sister but rarely the occasion for extended socialising. My older sister and I studied in the same city, so she was always having me over for dinner and meeting me out for beers (note that I rarely had her over for dinner as I lived on campus and wasn’t ever really a reliable host!) My older sister and I have had lots of time together, we’ve pissed each other off, fought for extended periods of time and then kissed and made up enough times to know that we still love each other. The last few times that I’ve been home in Aus my little sis has been away on her own worldly adventures and we have once again missed the opportunity to hang out. Over the last 4 years I would not have spent more than about 6 days with her at any one time, and each of these 6 day blocks would be separated by months and months of not seeing her. But with all of this absence, I think we’ve actually become closer. Yeah, we most definitely have. We are so similar and yet so different (she’s a skinny little thing with an eye for fashion, this is the most obvious difference!) but we both enjoy a beer and she makes me laugh with her stupid jokes. So the next 5 weeks will be a true test and will hopefully be truly awesome! We will hit the road and cruise from Hanoi down through Vietnam, across Cambodia and then back to happy old Bangkok. Bring on the fun!
(Oh, and about the gifts - I can't exactly reveal any information relating to that...)

It's all about the Music

I got tagged by Lillian. I'm concerned about doing this meme - I often get in trouble for being a little bit too young, and admitting my favourite music is certainly going to confirm this for a lot of people! But here I go anyway!

5 - You’re going on a long journey, what five albums MUST you take with you? Albums that you need to listen to regularly.

(This changes a lot! But this is what my ipod tells me has been popular lately!)

1. The Waifs - Sink or Swim (I can't get enough of their folky harmonies and cheesy lyrics)
2. Dixie Chicks - Top of the World Tour (Country tunes that I can sing really loud and really badly with!)
3. Madonna - The Immaculate Collection
4. Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
5. Mika - Life in Cartoon Motion (AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME FUN!)

4 - What four albums/songs do you most associate with a journey or travel experience? You know, the ones you listen to that instantly transport you back to a place and time.

4 Non Blondes - What's Up.... Grade 8 School trip to Tasmania, I'd made a mixed tape (remember those!) and it was the only one we had for the whole trip. Sitting on the back seat screaming out our lungs to this song was great fun.

Hunters and Collectors - Throw your arms around me... My entire, wonderful, memory filled 3 years that I had living at Menzies College, Latrobe University. Everytime I hear it I think of the beautiful and loving friendships that were formed over those years....

Emmylou Harris - The Tennessee Waltz... As a kid we would take long trips up to Pambula in Central NSW every other Christmas to visit my Nana. We rarely had much input as to what tapes were played so we just had to try our best to enjoy Mum and Dad's selection. I'll admit that I rarely hear this song these days, but if I did it would take me straight back to the backseat of our silver Toyota Tarago, winding up over the hills on the east coast of Australia with my sister and I in tears over the fate of this man's loved sweetheart....

Rent the Musical soundtrack - Melbourne to Robinvale/Mildura road trips. A good 6 hour drive that we often completed up and back over the course of a weekend for 21sts, random parties or to ease the boredom of college on the weekends! Myf, Meg, Ez and I would belt out these tunes and then stop for a while to contemplate the meaning of the lyrics - oh we were moved! One Song, Glory!

All 3 - Your three favorite songs of all time? (This really is NOT easy!)

Better Man - Pearl Jam

Burn One Down - Ben Harper

The Boxer - Simon and Garfunkel

2 - Two feel good songs, the ones that are guaranteed to lift the blues and put a smile on your face.

Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks... so it's about an abusive husband getting what he deserves, but it's sung in such an upbeat way it always makes me smile!

Irene Cara - Flashdance

1 - Absolute, overall, undoubtedly the best album of all time, in your opinion.

Madonna - The Immaculate Collection

(Note that this took me ages! And I must have changed every answer at least twice)

I’d like to know what sort of music gets Bangkok Ali, Christina G , LaNina and Sloth reflecting

Who let the dogs out?

These photos were lifted (with permission) from Bangkok Ali - cheers Al!

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If you've hit Bangkok Ali's site in the last couple of days you would have seen some evidence of a dangerously raunchy night out we all had last Saturday at Mojo's Bangkok. It was the annual end of season netball bash and the theme was (obviuously) School Disco. Maybe we went too far with the fish net stockings but here in the Land of Smiles it is just too easy to go too far! I can't think of anywhere else in the world that you could put together such awesome uniforms in only a few hours AND for less than $10! Rebecca and I hit Pratunam markets on Saturday morning and came away with fish nets in all the colours of the rainbow, neat little white school shirts (80 baht a pop), school skirts complete with front and back pleats and funky old school trainers. Add to that some creative hair and make up maintenence, some lollipops and lots and lots of Madonna and Bon Jovi and we had ourselves a night of nights!


(For those who didn't already know, the title Who let the dogs out? refers to the name of our netball team The Mad Dogs and not the fact that I think we look like dogs - obviously we don't!)

Facebook is starting to take over my life....

So I was warned and warned again about the dangers of facebook. Initially I figured the warnings were just about the huge masses of emails that you receive, I didn't realise that the warnings were related to the fact that you VERY quickly become massively addicted to this online community! You instantly will find yourself reconnecting with people you haven't seen or heard of in 15 years! I mean, I am not sure that people really want to be reconnected with their classmates from Grade 4, but the beauty of it being online and non contact is that you can ignore or approach whomever you like! I am now checking it before my email inbox - it's seriously that bad! Is anyone else hooked? Are there people deciding to just stay well away from it?

I need a new title for my blog

OK, I am calling out to everyone that ends up here on my blog....

I'm starting to get a few more hits, people are linking to my site which is flattering and it seems that people are hanging around for a little while longer (more than the early average of 3.5 seconds) which means that perhaps they are reading what I've written! Great!
So, I need your help... I want a new blog name. From here to there obviously came from a minuscule amount of thought, and even with dedicated thought I still can't come up with something that I like.... so, it's the NAME ANGE'S BLOG COMPETITION and it starts now...

Prizes - all the glory you can muster....

Beach time!

The long weekend last week called for a much needed city break and what better place for it than the island of Phan Ngan. The pain and cramps of a nasty overnight bus ride were eased by a breakfast beer, bowl of noodles and a sun burning beach sleep. And we'd only been on holidays for an hour! We did a couple of dives with Haad Yao divers, while our instructor seemed to be permanently narked, he was relaxed and chilled out and guided us through two great dive sites (one of which involved a swim through a rock chimney where I cut my leg - hard core). The beers after diving hit the spot and it wasn't long before I thought releasing firecracker rockets was not only a good idea but extremely bloody hilarious! Ashley quickly became rather maternal and expressed her disapproval - I think it was more that I made her husband light the rockets and put his body parts at risk that made her a grumpy Nana for the evening. But seriously, imagine a huge exploding firecracker rocket shooting of uncontrollably into a resort, possibly into a bungalow! Hilarious! Right? Right? Are you laughing or shaking your head disapprovingly? Laugh!

Jumping on the blogwagon

So I've been writing my blog for a few months now, not religiously, just whenever something interesting happens. Recently I've been wondering to myself - who I am writing for? I think that some of my friends (both here and Aus) check in every now and then, but I've no doubt (my Blog Stat Counter can support me here) that I am my blog's most regular visitor (well me and Bangkok Ali). Is that ok? Am I happy enough with that? I thought that I was, I thought that this was a like a not so personal journal that I am keeping for myself as a record of my wonderful memories living abroad. But then as I chat with mates who are also getting on the blogwagon I wonder if I actually I really want more from this? Not fame and fortune (let's be honest, there aren't that many people who give two hoots about a little Aussie chick doing the expat thing in Bangkok) but perhaps it would be nice if every now and then someone I don't know pops in and says something nice.... so the questions now arise - how do I get my blog out there? Do I just send out emails to everyone I know to tell them to check it out? How regularly should I do this? Do I randomly search for other blogs - perhaps in the same 'expats' genre - and leave comments hoping that they will follow comments back to my site? Do I post link to other blogs as a way to suck up to more popular sites? What's the ettiquite? When is it ok to link to another site? If someone links to you do you have to link back?
I rarely post entries like this, mostly I am just giving a wrap up of an exciting weekend or short trip away - but what is more interesting? Random thoughts like this post or holiday summaries and tales of adventure? I guess for someone who knows me they might like to read about how I watched devout Catholics flagellate themselves or how I've recently spent evenings being all hoity toity at Bangkok art galleries but for random strangers - what brings them here in the first place?

Ange and friends are Bangkok Hi - So

I recently attended a charity function at the Sukkothai Hotel and was snapped up and published in the social pages of the Big Chilli magazine....

The photo on the left is Noi, Pat and Me, the photo on the right is Sarah and her hubby Josh.

There was an art exhibition (I've been to two in a month! A new record for me!) and some nice (read free) cocktails.... don't we all look hot?!

Philipines photos

Ali just dropped off her photos from our Philippines trip, thought I might share some.... It's not a wife beater that I am wearing, but I do look scary, I will admit that..... the stalker swinger is top right, our trip besties are centre left and right.....

Paddy is a STAR!

Hot of the press! Pat sold two of his wonderful pieces of art at the opening of the STARs (Self Taught Artists) Exhibition! Great job Pat! We knew they would sell - but Gill and I do deserve some commission

Want more info? Check out Tonson Gallery

Mutant bugs and girly screams

A bloody long drive, creepy crawlies, constant rain and cheating rummi card players is what to expect at The Plantation - Pat and Noi's private getaway in the Southern seaside province of Chumporn. Add to that list: mutant fish that will attack your face without warning, shards of broken glass, a pack of wild angry dogs, strangely aerated water and evil flying nocturnal moths that inhabit the acreage. Are you keen to visit?

Well actually, I've started with a fairly dark and nasty picture haven't I? But that's what I've been instructed to do, the last thing that Pat needs is a barrage of people hinting for invites to his intimate private beach. So, aside from the private beach, the rustic charm of the bungalow accomodation, the wonderful scenic view from the bathroom, the constant flow of exquisite imported red wine, the delectable offerings of the fruits of the season, the calm and cool surroundings of the coconut trees, the refreshing aromas of the frangipannis and the warmth of the company you will find there - it's only ok.... I mean, it is a long drive

bangkok metro style...

Staff photos today called for some hair control and the only way to get the mop in control was with a quick little visit to the hair dressers. Once again going hi-so (that's Thai for high society) I hit Toni and Guy for a sleek and stylish snip. "Do whatever you want" is never a good way to start a hair cut, but with a style already in place I didn't really think that she (actually she may very well have been a he) could go too wrong. That's where I went wrong! the esplanade shopping centre - oh sorry, I mean the Arte-tainment centre - the mecca of hip and cool, the trendy young place to hang out and sip coffee by the indoor moat is not the place to say "do whatever you want".... bloody hell, I came out looking all Bangkok metro!


Messaging Pat and Gill to inform them that I out did the coolness of our most trendy student I was ordered to take some photos. The thunder and lightning was booming outside and I knew that my do would not hang around long in the humidity - only solution was to take photos of myself, in the bathroom....

Enjoy the photo shoot! (It is all the more funny if you can try to imagine me in the public bathrooms taking photos of myself!)

work and play in singapore

Went to Singapore for a teaching workshop last week. Not a bad deal, front up at work for 2 days after the Easter holidays only to be sent packing for 4 days to mingle with piss head teachers in Singapore. The workshop itself was interesting, beneficial and enjoyable - three good qualities for days away from work. Met some crackers and some not so. Took way too much advantage of the free booze on Thursday night, followed it up with way too much of the duty free gin I'd picked up on the way in and then spent way too much time speaking with ralph on the big white phone. Needless to say, day two of the conference was way too bloody difficult. By the time lunch came around I was ready to chew someones leg off. The ladies who joined me at lunch gave me the appropriate amount of sympathy and more than the appropriate amount of piss taking. They then compared me to a bloke who was fast asleep at the top of the stairs heading away from the cafeteria. Little did they know that it was Park, the guy who had way too much of the other half of the gin that I picked up at duty free.....

Feeling slightly recovered from my indulgences I spent an extra day in Singapore with the wonderful and beautiful Reubs. He once again drove me around, taking me to the best places to eat, the fanciest places to people watch and sip martinis and the best places to pick up bargains. Auntie Shirley (Reubs' equally wonderful mum) cooked up a curry storm that rivaled the infamous curries of ol' 2North days. Just the right amount of spice, yogurt and cucumber to send the taste buds into a frenzy. Not quite as gastronomically delightful was Daniel's 8th birthday party feast on Sunday - luckily Reubs and I had snuck out for tempting ribs in broth beforehand and got away with just one serve of cheesy bacon American diner style fries at the bday party. As always, Singapore was for me, better than anyone ever says. Trees, traffic free roads and countless places that serve prata at anytime you might need it - I think to myself "maybe it's my next stop before I go home?" but then I get back to the stinking hot, traffic infested madness of Bangkok and wonder "aren't I already there?"

I'm a minor (VERY MINOR) celeb!

So while I was away cruising around the Philipines I got my name in print! Woo hoo! (Don't laugh at the dorky quote - I'm a maths teacher, it comes with the job!

The magical island of Bohol

Ok, sorry about the misleading title, there isn't actually anything MAGICAL - wizards and magicians about Bohol, but it is wonderful and beautiful all the same. After finally escaping the madness of Manilla, Alex and I set off for some relaxation time at Nuts Huts, a superb jungle getaway located on the Loboc River (an almost glowing green river that you actually DO want to swim in). For three days I swam, ate healthy foods, walked up and down a good 200 steps, nourished my thirsts with some good old cheap Filipino beers, finished a couple of books and beat Alex at Trivial Pursuit (ha ha ha ha! she wasn't too happy about that ) We also spent a very slow day out on a rented motorbike - slow because Alex is a candy ass and couldn't handle anything above 40 clicks - and slow cos that's the Filipino way. We visited a cute little Tarsier centre that cares for and breeds cute little Tarsiers (check out the photos and decide for yourseleves if they are cute or not!) and we went to the lumpy old Chocolate Hills. The Choco Hills are a major tourist attraction for Bohol but really, at the end of the day, they are just hills, lots of them... hmmm... i took photos cos i was supposed to, but I wasn't particularly moved by their beauty or lack of! Take a squiz at the pics and decide for yourselves!

After the riverside relaxation we moved ourselves across to simple little beach side huts for some sun, sand, beer, fish sighting and fish eating fun. The island of Panglao, still within the province of Bohol is (like all beaches in the peens), home to ultra - don't dare forget your sunnies - white sand and crystal clear turqoise water. So picture perfect that even the fish are carrying state of the art digital cameras to savour the beauty. The reefs were close enough to swim out with a snorkel and say hi to Nemo and his pals and the dives were cheap enough that I did more than a few. It had been a while since I'd got myself wet below 20m of water and I was just a little bit nervous about the whole thing. In fact for the first 30 minutes of my first 50 minute dive I didn't look at anything except my rapidly decreasing air gauge! But I did manage to see a big school of barracuda, some moray eels, a good handful of wickedly colourful sea slugs and snails and a little baby shark that kept hanging out on my tank. I was having a few bouyancy issues - in that I couldn't keep bloody still - and i was constantly reminded of a quote from the book God of small things : The deep swimming fish covered their mouths with their fins and laughed sideways at the spectacle... the spectacle of course was me and my inability to stay at one depth for more than a few moments!

On my dive trip we met our new besties, a honeymooning couple from the UK, who certainly gave us a run for our money on the How much beer can you drink? front...Rob and Ellie were an absolute craic - stealing tamborines (Ali helped too), taking the piss out those who deserve it most, PDAs with sand in undesirable places and some creative rules for darts - they had us totally entertained for a few nights running. On Saturday night after a carb fueled dinner I experienced a little burp with a hot and chunky suprise, ready to call it a night and suffer with my hangover alone in my bungalow I felt inspiration from Rob and Ellie - the old farts who just kept on drinking! How the hell could I let them out drink me! Order me up a heavy - FAST!

In the name of the father and the son....

today is good friday, the most important day on the Catholic calender some might say. The day that we remember the ultimate sacrifice that He made for us. Well, here, in the Philipines, simply reading about it in two thousand year old scriptures is not enough, no, here in the Philipines we are visual learners and thinkers and we need to see what happened in order to truly understand and apreciate the sacrifice. So on this day, in the small city of San Fernando, 7 men went and had themselves nailed (right through their freaking hands! I am almost white as a ghost again just writing about it) to a cross in an act that will bring them forgiveness or perhaps new found health and well being for an ill family member.
there was a whole re-enactment of the passion of christ, pilate was there, judas hanged himself (that actual was only a dramatization!), there was a whole crowd of people cheering and booing etc and it was actually kind of weirdly moving in a bloody kind of way... keep in mind that prior to all this, dozens of men not bound for the cross were walking the streets flagellating themselves. they had covered their faces with cloth, many had a crown of thorns, all of them were dripping with blood as they continued to whip and carry out the act of mortification of the flesh as a reminder of the degradation the He suffered... so back at the passion of Christ re-enactment....
you had to be really careful to avoid the bloodied men as you squeezed in around the crowds for a better view - i had Jesus Christ Superstar songs stuck in my head for most the day which created a rather holy moment for me - that was until of course good old ange and her 'not so tough at all style' prevailed and i found myself weak at the knees, white as a ghost and ready to pass out completely! (and the nailing action hadn't even bloody started!) i found comfort under a small tree (judas would hang himself at this very tree later on) and sniffed on some smelling oils that I had conveniently tucked away in my bum bag. then it all started to get rowdy! the music intensified and the shouting was deafening, there they were dragging jesus to the peak of the hill, his back already dripping with blood after his lashings. many people were playing the part (many were just curious onlookers viewing the whole thing through their cameras) but everyone was completely fixated on what was happening in front of them. 'Jesus' let out a wail as he was nailed in one hand at a time and then his cross was raised for all to see.... (again at this point I really didn't want to look to closely, i mean the man had huge bloody railway sleeper nails in his hands!!! :o)
once 'Jesus' was pulled down and rushed to the medical centre, 6 other men took their turns to show their repentance and endure pain as their Saviour did....
we slowly walked back to our bus as the final man was brought down from his cross - still feeling kinda weak and not sure what to think about the whole thing there was a moment of silent reflection and disbelief, and then i saw the blood splatter all along the side of our van! we obviously came too close to a gang of self flagellaters and our van now looked like it was witness to a serious crime!

"Are Filipinos bloody devout Catholics?" they replied as one "It is as you say"

Wet and wild at Lake Taal

so much more sucess today for us here in manilla... we'll admit that we did blow the budget quite magnificently but it was well worth it - just getting in a nice fancy car and heading out of this manic city was a bloody sensational feeling.we visited a small town called talisay that is located on the banks of lake taal, a 200 sq km lake a few hours drive south of manilla. the lake itself was an awesome sight and within the lake was a not so huge but ready to blow volcano. its the smallest volcano in the world but it's still boiling and gaseous so we shouldn't take the piss out of it.... we took a short boat ride across to the island and about 1 minute into the trip the boat driver passed Alex and I a green plastic sheet. we weren't really sure what to do with it, but asked are we going to get wet? almost instantly a huge (read kinda big enough to splash us) wave struck the side of our viking ship and drenched us - ok, we get it... on the island we were met by naked children begging for money, we managed to please them enough with some candy although i am not sure it's what their teeth really needed! the walk up the volcano was hot and dusty, most people (in fact everyone bar us) opted for a horse ride up to the craters edge, deciding that 1. we needed the exercise and 2. the horses were freaking tiny we clambered up in record time. we were filthy, sunburnt and thirsty once we hit the top but it was all worth it. the view into the crater was more than impressive, a huge green sulphuric lake (i am sure it was meant to be yellow but it must have been a little diluted today?) within the lake was an island, so technically we were looking at an island within a lake within an island within a lake (within an island if you count mainland philipines)... the clamber down to the lake looked hot and dangerous so we just enjoyed the view from the cheap seats before braving the hot volcanic ash laden trail back to base... exercise and a tan - what a great day!

No escape from Manilla

painful and infuriating is manilla - 6 hours we tried and failed to leave this god awful city.... if i weren't so darn hangover I would write more but at the moment i simply can not... stay tuned for the vivid descriptions of our day from hell....ok, i am feeling a little more alive today after a great day (more on that in a minute) - first, sit back and enjoy the madness that was our first full day in manilla....the first mistake was mine, i will admit that. a mojito jug followed by umpteen million gin and tonics did not get me off on the right thing at 7am Tuesday morning. the plan was to go to the bus station, board a bus that would take us a good 12hours north to banoue, this was not to be. 4 bus depots later we accepted defeat, alex, me and the 4 million residents of manilla were all trying to get out for the easter long weekend and we didn't have a chance of getting on a bus. Never mind we shouted joyfully (me not so joyful but i was trying), we will go south instead and check out the volcano... off to yet another bus terminal, this time there were buses and we were quickly (very very quickly) ushered onto one that was already leaving the terminal - super?! - it only took us about 3 minutes to work out that this bus was not going where we wanted to go and we would have to jump out while it was still moving, add to the spectacle big backpacks, rain, puddles and crazy motobike drivers and we created a scene for all to enjoy - except us.heads down we clambered into our 5th taxi of the day for the airport we'd had enough, we wanted out... perhaps we could change our flights and head to the beach early? huh? remember holy week? remember the 4 million people trying to leave? no chance molony, what were you bloody thinking! you've been up since 7am, it's now 4pm, you've been around and around in circles, now it's game over - back to the hostel for another night in manilla.... the lonely planet does say "it is more difficult that you might think to take a regional bus out of manilla", they need to be informed that "it is bloody near impossible to take a regional bus out of manilla!".... seriously, this city sucks! ok, well it doesn't suck, its just not easy to handle. we made a good move and checked out Intramurous, this old brick walled city thing that was bombed once or twice and now is kind of trashed, but at least we managed on our day from hell to complete something at least a little bit touristy!tomorrow we will try again - fingers and toes are crossed....

seriously 80s

the ten minutes before cycling class begins is an important time for hydrating oneself, stretching and warming muscles and making fun of other people in the class. last night as i was getting the legs moving and psyching myself up for a hard core sweat fest i was struck by a woman entering the cycling studio. it wasn't beauty, size or any other physical feature that was so striking, but her choice of attire that gripped the attention of at least laurie and i who were quite simply gob smacked! close your eyes and imagine this.... (it might help to have an 80s aerobic dance tune playing in the background of your mind, try Irene Cara's What a feeling) a slight-ish thai woman enters the studio with confidence, she was feeling good about the upcoming workout and feeling sexy in her cotton, knee length, pastel pink leggings. but it wasn't only the leggings that made her feel the way she did, it was her slightly darker pastel pink leotard that capped it all off for her. it was not just any leotard (still the first one i've seen in about 10 years) this leotard was cut high, way high, sitting well above the hips on each side. it was open backed, not a cross back, which meant that her soon to be sweaty, already slighty sweat stained skin colour bra strap was on show. but it didn't stop there, the moment that she chose the bike directly in front of mine was the moment that revealed all. can you believe that the cotton pastel pink, super high waisted open backed leotard was a g-string number?! OH MY GOD! and she was sitting right in front of me! imagine, me, leaning forward on my bike in a racing position, and what is it that is no more than 40 cm from my face? yep, her pastel pink leggings and g-string over the top combination! I SHIT YOU NOT! i wont go into the graphic details of butt crack sweat because it's just too bloody much to handle.... What a feeling, bein's believin', I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life. Take your passion, and make it happen, Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life.....

All gambled out

had a friends 50th on saturday night (yes, I have a friend who is 50, it is true that she could be my mum, but you need to keep in mind that I am a whole lot younger than most expats here!) it was a great night of fine wine, fancy food and casino game playing! She'd turned her (massive) apartment into a casino and conned her kids and netball team to come and work the tables for the night. There was blackjack (i sucked), poker (i lost), two up (no luck) and roulette (lost everything)... we were betting with lollies (chupa chups were big money, white rabbits on the low end)... i really wasn't very good at all and was all out by 10pm. I begged borrowed and stole what i could and then decided that being away from the tables and closer to the bar was a better option anyway. It was a super night but one that needs to be kept hush hush as gambling is completely and totally illegal - i hope that using candy gives us a loophole when we are facing time in Bangkok Hilton!

Bloody Gym

I hit the brand new Esplanade gym last night for some cycling action. The bikes were super sweet with large saddles to comfort my butt and smooth pedal rotation that meant an awesome and sweaty workout - aren't you just so excited about that? being the only farang in the class the instructor was kind enough to say everything in thai and in english - this only proceeded to embarrass and single me out, but that's ok cos everyone else was a cycling newbie and they were where i was at 4 weeks ago, nearly dead after 20 minutes. Me on the other hand was kicking some serious ass - if it were a race (and it always is in my mind) i would have left them all for dead...
had a little accident in the change rooms though. caught my leg on the corner of a little metal bench and i really started to bleed out! :O i mean, not bleed out in the ER sense where i needed some kind of transfusion or blood donation, but bleed out enough that there was a significant red puddle on the change room floor and a generous amount of gym ladies offering their concern and support. i've got a nice big band aid on it today and am milking it...

heading off for some charity stuff

well, once again my posts are few and far between - and this time it 's even worse because i am writing to myself only. i still haven't told anyone about this blog - is that weird?
heading to cambodia this weekend to paint or hospital or something. it's all with that women's service club that i haven't and won't ever join, heading there with Gill and her mate Sarah (as well as other peeps) so it should be a good weekend. Hard work no doubt, but still something to be proud of.... wow this is kinda soppy.....
since I started this blog, about 3 months ago I've not done a great deal. it is time to start thinking about april holidays, at this stage i've narrowed it down to hard core travel in vietnam or a relaxing beach island hopping trip starting in the similans... too many choices, it's a tough life.... ok, if this gets any funnier i am going to wet myself... hooroo....